Fourteen

When I was 14 (and a half) I found out that my parents were going to get a divorce. It was one of the hardest things to hear.

If you were to ask me 3 years ago how I felt about the whole thing, I would tell you that it ruined me. That it MADE me have depression. That them getting a divorce forced me into a dark place that I didn’t want to be in. That I stopped believing in lasting love.

But that’s not true.

I just needed someone/something to blame for the feelings I was having about myself. I was just going into High School, and I was very, very insecure. (As most teenagers going into high school were) I felt unloved, ugly, and just not good enough. I had just made the drill team at my school where I was definitely one of the worst dancers. I had started dance only two years ago. Yet I was fighting with these girls that had been dancing their whole lives to try and win a spot in the dances. So having my parents divorce fall into the mix, gave me the chance to blame everything on them. It gave me an excuse.

But, looking at it all now, I know that them getting a divorce was the best thing for me. That it had to happen.

And because it happened, I gained the most amazing step dad who even though I give a hard time to, still loves and takes care of me as if he had my whole life. He helps me with my crazy Pinterest projects, and he has my back no matter the situation. I didn’t like him at first, but I sure love and am so grateful for him now.

 I also gained a step mom that I haven’t really gotten to know, but I’m sure loves my dad a lot.

I got to finish growing up with an amazing example of a marriage full of love, giving, and sacrifice. A love that I wanted one day. A love that I didn’t get to see with my parents.

My parents getting a divorce didn’t give me depression.

It gave me more people/family to love me when I was at my low point. It gave me more supporters. We have enough family now to create a baseball team…. And an opponent team to play against.

No one can have too many people to love in their lives. “No one was ever hurt by being too loved.” (Thanks mom)

Yes I did go through the hardest times of my life (so far) during all of this. But it only made me grow. It made me learn from each rock in my road. I grew up fast, but I grew up strong. I am who I am today because of those trials.

And yes, in case you were wondering, my 15^th birthday was pretty awkward. (;

Sincerely, me.

 My step dad

My dad + his wife